Sex & Food

Is eating chocolate better than having sex?

The reason we love chocolate is the pleasure principle that it brings to us - it has a chemical in it that raises our endorphines. Also, research has shown that eating chocolate raises our heart beat much higher than having a kiss. For some people, eating chocolates is definitely much better - it's certainly a good substitute if you're feeling a bit miserable. It has the same effect on you, making you feel happy in the same way as sex. Of course, chocolate doesn't make demands, so in some ways it's a lot easier to deal with than having sex.

What are aphrodisiacs?

Aphrodisiacs are types of food, minerals or sediments that are supposed to raise your libido, to raise your sexual desire and give you more sexual stamina. That is essentially what aphrodisiacs are, and the definition of what they are supposed to do.

Is there any truth that oysters are aphrodisiacs?

Oysters are an aphrodisiac. Oysters are full of Zinc and Selenium, which are minerals that we need—both men and women—to manufacture testosterone in the body. A good dose of Zinc is great for helping your libido and your sexual stamina. You'll get it from other shellfish as well, like scallops and good old Cod. Halibut will also give it to you, so you can feel good about going down for some fish and chips.

Are there foods I can eat to increase my libido?

There are definitely foods that are recommended to increase your libido - any diet that is high in fruits, vegetables, and complex carbohydrates. What is recommended is an ideal diet - are they the things that will keep you healthy? It is the connection between being healthy overall and a good sex life. Particular foods are things like avocados - the Spanish Conquistadors thought that they were a really powerful stimulant. Tomatoes, their other name is the love apple, are full of lycopene, which is an anti-oxidant useful in combating cancer, but also helps to stimulate hormonal production, and therefore helps your libido. Start making salads!

Can I take supplements to increase my libido?

Yes, there's good research that has been done on supplements that you can take. The vitamins A, B, C and E are the most important ones. Of those, the primary one to get is the group B vitamins.

What food can I use to seduce my partner?

Foods that you can use to seduce your partner, are those that you can eat with your fingers. Shellfish is not only good for your libido, but it's easy to have a plate of oysters, mussels, or prawns. Dips. Stuff that you can dip food into - so good old hummus, tara musselata, something like that. Asparagus, celery. All of these things are not only good for your health, but these are all the foods that are good for improving your general health, and therefore your libido. Champagne maybe. Vanilla, interestingly. Get a vanilla pod and put that in some champagne. The aroma of vanilla is a sexual stimulant. Strawberries. Anything which is easy to eat with the hands or to eat off your partners body.

Healing a Broken Heart

So, you're nursing a broken heart? What you have to remember is that you can get through it. Ask around and you'll find that loads of people you know have had their hearts broken. Most of them are OK now. And one day you'll be OK too. Better than that you'll be fine. But right now, it's hard to believe that.

First love
Getting over your first love is incredibly difficult. This is because we all think our first, real, wonderful, romantic love will last forever. Funnily enough, we don't look at our friends and their early relationships and think that they will last forever. And we know statistically that most people do not fall in love at 17 or thereabouts and stay with that person for life. But knowing these things does not seem to stop us from feeling that our particular first love is golden and timeless and unlike any other. So when it ends it's shattering.

The only comfort is that this romance has shown you how much love you have to give. And people with love to give are attractive individuals that others are drawn to. One day, you'll look back at your first love and realise that it was a great dress rehearsal for subsequent relationships. But you're unlikely to feel that right now.

Treat yourself gently
You can feel so 'knocked' after your heart is broken that you feel seriously ill, or as if you've been in a car crash. So, treat yourself as if you are recovering from a bad illness or a road traffic accident. Let other people care for you, too. Get as much sleep as possible. Eat lovely foods. Convalesce. And allow yourself to cry - even if you're a bloke. It's horrible at the time, but you'll feel better afterwards. All in all, take life gently - you've had a shock, and your mind and body need time to get over it.

Pep up your social life
Your friends will help you get over it. Soon, they'll be asking you to come out in a group to the cinema or the pub or whatever. At first you won't be in the mood, but soon you'll realize that there are some bonuses to being single again. In fact, you'll find that this is a good time to do stuff that you didn't do with your ex. So now you can go to the sorts of films that you like, or you can listen to your type of music, or go on your type of holiday.

Look back to look forwards
Once you're over the stage of feeling shocked and ill, try to look back at your relationship as it really was, not through the rose-tinted spectacles you've worn for so long.
Write a list of the things that you don't miss about your ex. At first you'll be thinking that you loved everything about this person, but you didn't. What about those awful jokes, the rows, how you always had to make the arrangements if anything was to get done, the times when your ex put you down or made you feel stupid or how they didn't like your best mate? There are always elements to our past loves that weren't right, and this is a good time to focus on them.

Starting again
Sometimes when our hearts are broken we want to find someone new to love us as soon as possible. This is natural - but unwise. Your best bet is to embrace your single life wholeheartedly for six months or so. Obviously you may end up having sex with other people - but do make sure it's safe sex.

However, your emotions are not going to settle for quite a while, so have fun, but don't go looking for anything else serious until you're happy without your ex. You'll know you're getting over your heartache when you can get through a whole day without thinking about them.